I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
