when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Your tits are I can't wait for
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
