Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
