i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
