5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize