I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
he just fucked me for my cheese.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
