New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
