Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
