Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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