My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You can't special order awesome
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
