I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
