it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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