take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Randomize
