Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize