He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
