Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize