Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
