thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
