just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
