Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
