I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
