GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
