I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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