Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
