My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
