I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize