i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
my liver is dry heaving
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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