what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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