the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
