I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
