Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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