The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You pole danced in your parka.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Dear god my vagina.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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