He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
