Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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