I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
