he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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