Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
