is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize