do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
