did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
