I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
