When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
