dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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