I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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