he thought i was a dude.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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