He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
where are my eyebrows?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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