yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
