i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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