She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
