NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
