i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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