Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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