"it" just moved
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
