ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
