You're so nebulous sometimes
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
